


dont wanna know

by sourpatchsoju



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, hope yall enjoy :), this took way too long to finish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 14:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20047222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourpatchsoju/pseuds/sourpatchsoju
Summary: hyunjin really isn't one for knowledge (i guess that explains why she's kinda dumb here)





	dont wanna know

It was just another regular day for Hyunjin. She was sitting at her usual lunch table with her team, musing about the victorious win against their rival school last night.

“Did you guys see how I blocked that one goal!?” Sooyoung exclaimed. She then stood up and reenacted her save. “She thought she could outsmart me! But  _ I _ was the one that outsmarted her! Had her thinking she was tricking me to the left side but nah, I  _ knew _ she was going for the right.”

“I admit it,” Jinsoul started with a laugh, “That was a miraculous save. But did you see how I stole the ball from their center forward? I swooped in and snatched it! It was a moment most pleasing to my career.”

“Yeah, yeah, you guys were cool and all, but the best highlight of that game was how I juked that girl out and scored the winning goal.” Hyunjin gloated with a snicker before taking a bite of the bread she bought from the bakery earlier. 

Their conversations continued and strayed from the game to the day’s happenings, homework, and daily tea. The only teammates that Hyunjin was close to were Sooyoung and Jinsoul. She was friends with the rest of her team, but not as close as she was to Sooyoung and Jinsoul. She wouldn’t trade them for the world. 

Hyunjin wasn’t really listening into the conversation. Instead, her eyes wandered around the cafeteria. She took a bite of her bread, eyes widening when a girl walked through the cafeteria doors. She followed the girl with her eyes, hand tapping the table to get her teammates’ attention.

“Hey, do any of you know that girl?” Hyunjin asked as she pointed towards said girl. 

“Oh, Jeon Heejin? She’s in my chemistry class.” Siyeon replied. “Super nerdy and dorky.”

“Interesting.” Hyunjin’s lips tugged into a grin and she got up from the table. “Well, I have something to do for Ms. Lee, so I’ll be leaving early. See you at practice.” She waved and then sauntered over to Heejin.

As she got closer to Heejin, she felt her heartbeat rising. She frowned. Why was her heart acting up? And she didn’t even eat anything weird, so why was her stomach feeling funny? She shrugged off the feelings as they got closer. Hyunjin’s shoulder shoved against Heejin’s as they passed, resulting in Heejin dropping her books. Hyunjin looked back, locking eyes with the shorter girl. She grinned, “Oops. Sorry about that.”

She stared for another second before turning away and continuing on her way. Hyunjin roamed the halls. She lied to her teammates. She didn’t have to do anything for Ms. Lee. She just needed an excuse to bump shoulders with Heejin. Though Ms. Lee was an excuse, Hyunjin ended up in her room anyways. 

“What’s up Sunmi?” Hyunjin asked as she slung her backpack onto the floor and sat in a chair, raising her legs onto the desk. 

“Can you  _ please _ call me Ms. Lee when in school?”

Hyunjin pretended to think for a moment before shaking her head. “Nope.”

Sunmi sighed. “What brings you here?”

“I don’t know, actually. Left lunch early and now here I am.”

“Well,” Sunmi got up from her desk, picking up a stack of papers. “Since you’re here, you can do something for me. Bring these to Ms. Kim.”

“Fine.” Hyunjin reluctantly got up and took the stack of papers. She left the room and made her way to Ms. Kim’s classroom. She knocked on the door before entering, setting the stack of papers on her desk. “Ms. Lee told me to bring these over.”

“Thank you.” Ms. Kim replied.

Hyunjin gave her a smile before leaving.

* * *

The next time Hyunjin saw Heejin was in the hallway between classes. Heejin seemed to be struggling with the lock on her locker, and when she finally opened it, Hyunjin, who was passing by, pushed it closed. 

Hyunjin could see the slight irritation on Heejin’s face, but the other girl seemed to take a breath visibly calmed down. Hyunjin only gave her a grin before turning back to her friends. 

Throughout the day, Hyunjin was wondering why Heejin didn’t react. It was from then on that Hyunjin began to bother Heejin. 

Later that day, Hyunjin spotted Heejin walking with her friends and an idea popped into her mind. She leaned against her locker and waited for Heejin and her friends to walk by before sticking her foot out, effectively tripping Heejin.

“Oops, sorry. Didn’t see you there.” Hyunjin chuckled and Sooyoung and Jinsoul, who were with her, laughed along. They watched as Heejin got up with her friends’ help (who glared at Hyunjin) and patted herself off before leaving. 

The ways in which she bothered Heejin started out small: a shove here and there and the occasional trip, but in the recent weeks, it had escalated. She noticed that Heejin began having bandages on her knees from when Hyunjin would trip her, and she noticed that Heejin made herself smaller than before. But of course, without a reaction, Hyunjin wasn’t stopping. She began to “spill” her beverage over Heejin’s uniform and you couldn’t forget the ‘pushing-book-out-of-arms’ move. 

Hyunjin had a big plan on how to humiliate Heejin and  _ definitely _ get a reaction out of her. When everyone was in class, she slipped out for a “bathroom break” and made her way to Heejin’s locker. She pulled out the zip ties she had gotten the day before and began to tie Heejin’s locker shut even more. She finished up and went back to class, waiting for the bell to dismiss them for the end of the day. 

Once the bell rang, she stuffed her class materials into her bag and rushed over to her locker, which was conveniently only a few lockers away from Heejin’s. She got her sports bag out from her locker and then leaned against it, watching Heejin. 

She watched as Heejin sighed in what she assumed to be frustration. Heejin threw her books down and punched her locker. That earned a couple of looks from the other students and concerned looks from staff. Heejin punched the locker again and rested her forehead against it.

A staff member came over to Heejin and asked her if everything was okay. Hyunjin tried her best to listen in to the conversation with all the other voices.

“Do you think I’m okay!?” Heejin shouted at the staff member. “After a long week, I just wanted to go home and fucking relax but I can’t even do that now because some dumbass  _ zip tied _ my fucking locker.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened. She’d never heard Heejin swear, much less act out in anger. She grinned. Her hard work had finally paid off. Hyunjin picked up her bag from the floor and hung it over her shoulder and made her way to the field. She overheard Heejin as she walked past them.

“You know what, I don’t care. Just open it when you have time, I’m getting out of here.”

* * *

Soccer practice went on as normal and ended before Hyunjin knew. She laughed at a dumb joke that Jinsoul told in the locker rooms, packing her stuff and putting on her backpack and sports bag. She waved goodbye to the team before leaving the gym, headphones in as she began to walk home. 

But something caught her eye. Someone was sitting on the front steps of the school. It was already close to 7PM, and there shouldn’t be people after school unless they were sports people. And so, Hyunjin assumed it was a student athlete. She was pretty close to all student athletes so she decided to go over and make small talk before going home.

As she got closer, she realized it was Heejin. She furrowed her brows, staring to turn around to leave.

“Hyunjin?”

She froze. How did Heejin know her name? She slowly turned around and replied in a creaky voice. “Yes? That’s me?”

Heejin stood up and walked towards Hyunjin. “You were the one who zip tied my locker, weren’t you?”

Hyunjin was about to take a step back but stood firm. How would Heejin know it was her anyways? At this point, it was nothing more than a baseless assumption. “Why are you assuming it’s me?”

“Hyunjin, I’m not fucking dumb. You’re the only one that’s been messing with me.” Heejin sighed deeply and ran a hand through her hair. “I just… I just want to know why. Why me? Why did you choose me to mess with, out of all the kids here.”

Hyunjin didn’t have an answer for her, but this was part of the reaction she wanted, so she grinned. “Because I can.”

Heejin sighed again before looking into Hyunjin’s eyes. The way Heejin looked at her froze her. She had never seen such empty and cold eyes. “Whatever. Do what you want, I don’t care anymore. Just goes to show how much of a shit person you are.” Heejin turned around and left, hands in the pockets of her jean jacket.

* * *

Hyunjin didn’t get much sleep the night before. She was up all night tossing and turning, Heejin’s words bouncing around in her mind. She had already downed two cups of coffee and consumed all the sugar she had on her, hoping that it would kick in by the time the soccer game would start. 

And she was right. By the time school had ended and the team was practicing for the game, her energy was up. But, her mind was still wandering back to Heejin’s words. She was really starting to feel bad about all that she’d done to Heejin.

“Hey, you okay, Hyun?” Sooyoung asked.

Hyunjin snapped out of her thoughts and turned to Sooyoung and Jinsoul, who were standing over her. “Yeah, I’m fine, just had some stuff on my mind.” 

She shook the thoughts away and tried to ready herself for the game. She stood up with a jump and swung her arms around. “Now, let’s get hyped and secure this W team!”

They warmed up some more and soon enough, the opposing team arrived and the bleachers started to fill up. 

The team was doing great in the first half; they had one point over the opposing team. Hyunjin grabbed a water bottle, taking a few gulps and pouring some over her. 

“We’re doing good so far, girls! Let’s keep it up!” Hyunjin shouted, wanting to hype up the team. 

Soon enough, the second half began. Hyunjin took a quick glance at the crowd and froze when she caught a glimpse of who she thought was Heejin.  _ And _ now the words were back, zooming through her mind. She shook her head and then arms, and then hands, trying to rid herself of Heejin’s words.

And  _ now, _ the second half was going  _ just  _ great, Hyunjin thought. In the span of thirty minutes, the opposing team had already scored two points over them. 

It was now the last five minutes and Hyunjin was stressing inside. How had the other team become so good all of a sudden? She blinked the question away, it didn’t matter. Their team just had to be better.

But Hyunjin couldn’t do it. She couldn’t think of the game, couldn’t keep her mind on stealing the ball and scoring goals. All she could think about was Heejin’s words. The ice in her voice. 

_ Just goes to show how much of a shit person you are. _

And when the ball was passed to her, she couldn’t focus on scoring. She couldn’t focus on her complex footwork, couldn’t focus on outsmarting the goalie. She kicked, it flew. 

And missed. 

She missed. She never missed but she missed. She shot and she missed.

The game ended in their loss. Hyunjin froze. She was the cause of their loss. She fell to her knees in shock. She would have stayed there forever, but Sooyoung came behind her and scooped her up.

“Come on Hyun.” Sooyoung supported her in the line as they gave the high five of good sportsmanship. 

After the other team left, Hyunjin kicked the ground in anger. 

“Fuck!” She shouted out.

“Yo, Hyunjin, what’s going on?” Jinsoul asked, walking over.

Hyunjin let out a sigh. “How could I miss!? Miss! It didn’t even hit the bar! I cost us the game!”

“It’s okay, it’s our first loss of the season, Hyun.” Sooyoung started, “One loss doesn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah, I  _ know _ one loss doesn’t mean anything, but this means something to me because I was distracted! If I wasn’t so distracted I could have made the goal!” Hyunjin frowned, fists clenching. 

“Hey, hey, hey, let’s go sit down and talk about this.” Sooyoung took Hyunjin and guided her to the benches, Jinsoul following after and sitting on Hyunjin’s other side.

“So what was distracting you, honey?” Jinsoul asked and brought a hand up to Hyunjin’s back, rubbing it comfortingly.

Hyunjin let out a deep sigh and her shoulders slumped. “I… Yesterday, I had a little confrontation with Heejin. She… Asked me why I chose her to mess with and then she basically called me a shit person.”

Before Sooyoung or Jinsoul could reply she continued. “And I’ve been thinking about it all night and this whole day. And I thought I had shook off the thought but I thought I saw her in the crowd and then her words came back and I couldn’t think of anything else other than her words and I.. I feel so bad, guys.”

Her head dropped into her hands and she tried her best to hold back her tears. “I feel so fucking bad.”

“Well, you can always apologize.” Jinsoul replied. “I’m sure she would appreciate an apology. Also, it’d be good to know why you started messing with her in the first place. Like, where did all this come from?”

Hyunjin shrugged. “I mean, ever since earlier today, I’ve been meaning to apologize to her, but I don’t even know if she wants to see me anymore. And I don’t know where it came from, I just… When I saw her that one day in the lunchroom, I just felt like I had to do something with her or to her.”

“Do you think…” Sooyoung cleared her throat. “Do you think that maybe you have a crush on her and the only way you know how to deal with your feelings is to tease and bully Heejin?” 

“I don’t know, maybe, all I know is that she was so fucking pretty and I had to do something to get her attention or something.” Hyunjin stood up and began walking to the locker rooms. Sooyoung and Jinsoul followed after her, jogging a bit to catch up. 

“Well,  _ maybe _ , you should tell her that.” Jinsoul replied. “Because from what I gather,  _ that’s _ a crush.”

“I don’t know.” Hyunjin repeated. “I’ll sleep on this, maybe I’ll come to an epiphany.” She put on her backpack and slung her sports bag across her. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

* * *

Hyunjin laid in her bed and stared at the ceiling in the dark. 

Why  _ did _ she begin to mess with Heejin? She didn’t even know Heejin like that. All she knew about Heejin was that she was in Siyeon’s chemistry class, was super smart, and that she was pretty. Really pretty.

She remembered her heartbeat rising and her stomach feeling funny. It was all coming back to her. The warmth that gathered on her cheeks. Oh my god, she  _ did _ have a crush on Heejin. But she had fucked it up already. Would Heejin even want to see her?

And so began her thinking process, trying to piece together a good plan for apologizing to Heejin. 

It was safe to say that she didn’t get much sleep that night either. 

* * *

She couldn’t do it. She had planned to just walk up to Heejin and apologize right then and there but she couldn’t. Her fear would always take over and she’d turn right around and walk back to where she came from. This had happened for a week straight already.

The next time that Hyunjin  _ actually _ gave herself enough courage to face Heejin, she walked right up to Heejin, but her words had left her empty. 

Heejin raised a brow at her. “Are you here to bully me again after not doing it for a week? I knew it was too good to be true.”

Still no words. She couldn’t say a simple ‘I’m sorry’ and instead blurted out, “Meet me after soccer practice today. Same place.”

She power walked away after that. And spent the whole school day actually preparing herself to apologize to Heejin. Apologies weren’t something that she was good at. She’d never found herself in a position where she was in the wrong. And as school got closer to ending, Hyunjin grew more nervous.

Hyunjin tumbled through soccer practice and it earned her concerned looks from the coach and other teammates who didn’t know what she was going through. When practice came to an end (which seemed to come quicker than Hyunjin thought), she trudged back to the locker rooms and slowly packed up her stuff. 

Sooyoung and Jinsoul came over to her and sat with her.

“Hey, you okay?” Sooyoung asked.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin nodded, “Just nervous. Like really nervous.”

“Like there are wasps in your stomach instead of butterflies?” Jinsoul asked.

Hyunjin nodded again, “Yeah, wasps.” She looked up at them. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Hey,” Sooyoung placed a hand on her shoulder. “I believe in you. You always do the right thing. Do the right thing again, Hyun.”

Jinsoul pulled Hyunjin in for a hug. “And maybe after you apologize, you can follow up with a confession. I know that look anywhere, Hyun.”

Hyunjin laughed as she pulled away from the hug. “I don’t know about that part, Soul.”

Sooyoung stood up. “We have to get going but we believe in you, Hyunjin. You’ve got our support.” 

Jinsoul followed after and gave her a thumbs up. “We’re here for you whether it goes good or bad.”

“Thanks guys, I’ll let you guys know how it goes.” Hyunjin smiled back.

And with that, the two left and Hyunjin took a deep breath. She made her way out of the gym and to the front steps of the school. She saw Heejin sitting.

“Hey,” Hyunjin stood in front of the steps, “Didn’t think you’d actually listen to me.”

Heejin shrugged. “I have nothing to do and was interested in what you could possibly want to meet me for.”

“Well, uh…” Hyunjin cleared her throat. “I wanted to apologize. For how I’ve been treating you.”

Heejin scoffed. “What good is an apology now. What even made you consider apologizing?”

“Because I’ve been thinking about what you said to me, of how I was a shit person, and you were right. I was being a shitty person and I put you through all that for nothing. Well-- I wouldn’t say for nothing because--”

“So you felt guilty and wanted to apologize to feel better about yourself. Got it.”

“No, it’s not that!” Hyunjin sighed. 

“Then what is it!? To boost your ego?”

“Will you let me finish?”

“Oh yeah, sure. I’ll just be quiet and let you finish because it never bothered me anyway.”

Hyunjin clenched her fists. “Look, I’m  _ trying _ to apologize for that, I’m  _ trying _ to tell you--”

“I don’t need your apology, Hyunjin! I’ve been fine all this time without your damn apology! What are you actually apologizing for, because I am  _ so _ intrigued.”

“Because I like you, okay!” Hyunjin shouted, dropping her sports bag. “I like you and I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings but I knew I wanted to get your attention somehow and that was the only way I knew how and I…”

“And you what?”

“I just wanted you to know that… Even if you don’t like me-- even if you hate me, please…” Hyunjin slumped her shoulders. “Please don’t tell me. Just let me keep liking you..”

She looked up at Heejin to be met with cold, watery eyes. Heejin scoffed again, her voice breaking when she spoke. 

“I hate you.”

**Author's Note:**

> lmao yall okay? no? good. let me know what y'all thought of this! comments always encourage writers so!


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